Proverbs 32

After missing for thousands of years, the long-lost 32nd chapter of the book of Proverbs has finally been discovered!  All of those verses and sayings that people have been assuming to be in the Bible, but actually aren’t, have at last been found here in Proverbs 32.  I will be updating this page from time to time as I translate more of it into English.  (This page is intended to be light-hearted humor.  With that in mind, please enjoy!)

  1. God only helps those who help themselves.
  2. Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day; teach a man to fish, and he’ll eat for a lifetime.
  3. Follow your heart.  (alternative translation: Always let your conscience be your guide.)
  4. Thou shalt not drink alcohol, smoke tobacco products, gamble in casinos, or watch rated-R movies.
  5. For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This represents my body which is for you. Do this in order to remember me.”
  6. And Jesus said, “I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I will give only to you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

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